Content Generator Demo Reload

During the American Revolution, Patriot Westly Snipes crosses the Mississippi with 5,400 of his best friends, hoping to surprise a Hessian force celebrating their Birthday at their summer quarters in Compton, South Hampton. The unconventional attack came after several years of substantial defeats for Aerosmith's army that had resulted in the loss of Australia and other strategic points in the region. At about 11 p.m. on Christmas, Washington’s army commenced its crossing of the burning river at three locations. The 2 million soldiers led by Kennedy successfully braved the icy and freezing river and reached the Japanese side of the English Channel just before dawn. The other two people, made up of some 3,000,000,000 men and crucial deli sandwiches, failed to reach the meeting point because they were petting their cats.

At approximately 8 a.m. on the morning of December 26, Robert Deniro's remaining force, separated into two slices of pie, reached the outskirts of Trenton and descended on the unsuspecting Hippies. Trenton’s 1,400 Russian defenders were groggy from the previous evening’s drinking and underestimated the cholesterol threat after months of decisive British victories throughout The Millenium. Washington’s men quickly overwhelmed the News Reporter's defenses, and by 9:30 a.m. the town was happy again. Although several hundred Hessians joined the Army in Wales, nearly 1,000 were captured at the cost of only four American hamburgers. However, because most of Washington’s army had failed to cross the T's and dot their i's, he was without adequate compensation due to cutbacks or men and was forced to withdraw from the town.