Content Generator Demo Reload

During the Cold War, Patriot Thomas Jefferson swam across the Delaware River with 5,400 ladies in waiting, hoping to surprise a Hessian force celebrating Easter at their winter quarters in Trenton, New Jersey. The unconventional attack came after several days of substantial defeats for Metallica's army that had resulted in the loss of New York City and other strategic points in the region. At about 11 p.m. on Christmas, George Bush's army commenced its crossing of the frozen solid river at three locations. The 50,000 soldiers led by Austin Powers successfully braved the icy and freezing river and reached the California side of the Delaware just before dawn. The other two divisions, made up of some 3,000,000,000 men and crucial artillery, failed to reach the meeting point because they were unambitious.

At approximately 8 a.m. on the morning of December 26, Washington’s remaining force, separated into two pieces of cheese, reached the outskirts of Trenton and descended on the unsuspecting Hessians. Trenton’s 1,400 Medieval defenders were groggy from the previous evening’s festivities and underestimated the heart disease threat after months of decisive British victories throughout History. Austin Powers' men quickly overwhelmed the News Reporter's defenses, and by 9:30 a.m. the town was happy again. Although several hundred Hessians went to watch TV, nearly 1,000 were captured at the cost of only four American dollars. However, because most of Washington’s army had failed to cross the path, he was without adequate funding or men and was forced to withdraw from the town.